Liberals demand major changes in the Holy Bible

Liberals demand major changes in the Holy Bible to make it politically correct and more appealing to everyone regardless of their race, sexuality, political views and social situation. The PC Bible replaces all divisive teachings of the Christianity wrapping the book in a gender-neutral and liberal language eliminating or rewriting all sections that might prove offensive and hurt anyone’s feelings.

Then the God formed two identical humans from the dust of the ground and breathed into their nostrils the breath of life. One of them chose to be a man, while the other one identified herself as a woman for they knew they’re free to be whatever they desire.
– Quote from The PC Book of Genesis – The Creaton of People

Major Changes

The pronouns referring to God, “Lord”, “He” and “the Father.” will be replaced with “Our Mother and Father who art in heaven”.

Jesus is no longer the “son” but the child of God with solid liberal and PC values.

The events have been slightly altered to make them more appealing to the modern reader. For example Jesus is not a carpenter anymore but a data analyst and the Three Wise Men from the East learn the birth of Jesus from Maria’s Facebook post and not from The Star of Bethlehem.

The Bible is too old and it can hardly reach the new generations, that’s why was time to give it a facelift.

Future Plans

The organization initiating the idea is going to hand out free copies in exchange for outdated Bibles. They plan to set the old Bible collection on fire next Christmas in Jerusalem. The Pope is expected to be present on the event.

Rev. Trevor Kokocinski, pastor at St. Jude Catholic Church in London is not happy about the new version and is expecting resistance from conservative christians. He says:

“The Bible is God’s word, and translators have to be faithful to the original languages otherwise it’s worthless.”